Fern and Owl was something that I dreamed up with the idea that cozy living, reading good books, and having everyday little comforts are more than just "cozy" living ideas but an achievable necessity. Sometimes sitting on the couch all day is a choice, but for some, sitting on the couch all day is unavoidable. Cozy isn't always an aesthetic. Sometimes cozy is personal care. When you are suffering from an illness, invisible or otherwise, cozy is a way of life. Anything you can do for yourself to ease the discomfort of trying to get through the day when it feels impossible. Sometimes these comforts aren't about creating the perfect reading atmosphere, but it's about making a hard day a little easier.
My Experience with Invisible Illness
One of the strangest parts of dealing with an invisible illness is exactly that—it's invisible. From the outside, I can look completely fine. I can get dressed, take my kids where they need to go, work on Fern & Owl, laugh with my family, and go about a seemingly normal day. But what you can't see is the constant awareness of what my body is doing behind the scenes. Some days are genuinely good. I can do most of the things I want to do without giving them much thought. Other days, something as simple as standing in the kitchen, taking a shower, running an errand, or walking around a store can suddenly feel like a much bigger task than it should. And sometimes, I don't know which kind of day I'm going to get until I'm already in it. That unpredictability has been one of the harder things to adjust to. I've had to learn that feeling okay yesterday doesn't necessarily mean I'll feel okay today—and feeling terrible today doesn't mean tomorrow will be the same. There's also something uniquely difficult about experiencing symptoms that no one else can see. When you look "fine," it can be hard to explain why you need to sit down, change plans, move a little slower, or simply say, "I can't today." I'm still learning how to listen to my body without feeling like I need to justify it. And I'm learning that on the days when my body asks me to slow down, sometimes the best thing I can do is listen.
When My Body Says Slow Down
For me, learning to listen to my body has become an important part of navigating what I now know, and still learning, may be POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome). The road to understanding what has been happening with my body hasn't necessarily been straightforward, and I'm still finding answers. But along the way, I've learned something important: not every day looks the same. There are days when I feel almost completely normal. Days when I can work, run errands, take care of my family, and move through life without constantly thinking about how I feel.
And then there are flare days.
Sometimes I can feel one coming. Other times, my body seems to make the decision for me. On those days, normal things suddenly require a lot more effort. Standing for too long can be exhausting. My energy disappears much faster. I may feel lightheaded, shaky, weak, or simply off. The things I normally wouldn't think twice about suddenly require me to decide whether they're worth the energy. I've had to learn to adjust my expectations on those days. A flare day isn't the day to worry about the laundry pile, finishing every item on my to-do list, or feeling guilty because I'm not being "productive enough." Sometimes it's a day for a comfortable spot on the couch, plenty of hydration, whatever little things help my body feel supported, and a good book within reach. Because when my world needs to get a little smaller for the day, there are few places I'd rather disappear into than the pages of a story. On those days, a book gives me somewhere else to be for a little while. I can curl up on the couch or in bed and disappear into someone else's world while giving my own body the chance to rest.
A Little Comfort Goes a Long Way
I've learned that having a few simple comforts nearby can make those days just a little easier. A big water bottle so I don't have to keep getting up (40oz is my favorite water bottle size), something cozy to wrap up in, an easy snack within reach (preferably something salty), a heating pad or something cool depending on what my body needs, and of course, a book. None of these things make a flare disappear. They aren't treatments or cures. They're simply little comforts that can make a hard day feel a bit easier. And somewhere along the way, I realized that idea fits perfectly with what I've always wanted Fern & Owl to be about: finding comfort in the little things.
For Whatever Your Hard Day Looks Like
While Flare Day Favs was inspired by my own experience navigating POTS and flare days, I know that hard days can look different for everyone. Maybe you live with a chronic or invisible illness of your own. Maybe you're recovering from something, dealing with pain or exhaustion, having a difficult mental health day, or maybe life has simply asked a little too much of you lately. Whatever the reason, I think we all deserve permission to have days when we do a little less and care for ourselves a little more. I'm still learning this myself. Rest doesn't always come easily when there are things to do, people to care for, and a never-ending list waiting in the background. But I'm learning that listening to my body isn't giving up on the day. Sometimes, it's simply choosing to spend that day differently. And if that means curling up somewhere comfortable with everything I need within reach and a good book beside me, I'm learning to be okay with that.
At its heart, that's what I hope Fern & Owl can be — a little corner of the world that celebrates books, comfort, and making life feel a bit cozier, especially on the days when we need it most. So whatever your hard day looks like, I hope you give yourself permission to make it a little softer. And maybe bring a good book along, too. 🤎
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